393 the gap


Tomorrow is my fiftieth birthday. Forgive me if I spend a little time reflecting on myself, this is one of those moments where it's kind of required.

Right now, I'm not going to spend too much time on "compare and despair." 

Instead, I'm just going to talk about some ideas I've had, and see where I am in terms of bringing them to life.

Living car free. I've backslid on this one. I used to only get in a car occasionally, now I'm in one two or three times a week.

Walking across America. For a few years, I've been fantasizing this is something I wanted to do, at least since writing  Walking to Paradise. For a while, I thought I wanted to do it for my fiftieth birthday. Then a pandemic happened, and now tomorrow is my birthday. But in the wisdom of deep middle age, I'm going to give myself the decade. And maybe the option to bike, sail, float, or thumb. And then we'll see...


In the meantime, I picked up this potential walking stick the other day. This wood is hard!

Becoming an author. A few years ago, when I was madly pumping out novels, I described myself to my astrologer as an "unsuccessful author." And he responded, "why unsuccessful?"

At the time, it was a reminder that I was in fact, very successful at writing. That part was going great. I just didn't have many readers. 

Looking back from two or three years of "writer's block," and knowing my astrologer wanted to write a book and still hasn't, well, I have to say, I was being a very successful author back then. Now? 

Well, I'm still writing. And you're reading! So that's a step up. Now if only I could come up with something that really resonates.

Becoming an artist. Well, I already am an artist. And I think my practice is interesting. But again, I've got the disconnect between making work and having it seen. Like writing, my big struggle with art seems to be putting the blinders on. There's no "one thing" I've been pulled to. Well, except maybe the contrast between the sky and ground.

Hey, it's a starting point!

Being a futurist. What the hell does that even mean? Most friends think it's a joke. It's not. I'm not an early adopter, I'm not cutting edge aware of the latest technology, I don't even know all the futurist buzzwords. But that doesn't stop me from seeing trends and commenting on them, or from having a vision for where the world is, and could be, headed. Sure, it might make me seem like a quack, but you're only a quack until they call you an oracle.

Sailing across the Pacific, up the East Coast, and through Europe. I have a long way to go, but at least I know more about sailing than I did ten years ago.

Yeah, well, this is straying into the realm of "resolutions" and I think resolutions just lead to anxiety and disappointment, so fuck that. Hopefully I'll check back in at sixty and just be happy to still be around.

So I'll just throw out a bullet list of a few of the many possibilities I aspire to in the next decade:

Co-owning a home
Sailing across an ocean
A reality show about alt transit
A greener gardening practice
Preaching and counseling the miracle lifestyle
A painting practice
Regular swimming and sailing
Being a lover

Ok, yeah, that's it for today. Pretty sure I left out more than I included. But those have definitely been buzzing around a while.

Thanks for listening. How's your personal scorecard looking? Yeah, me too. Don't worry. If we already achieved all of our goals, we'd have nothing to strive for.


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